Cycling silly verse - it could be worse!

Instead of cycling lots this week, I spent time on the internet (at work) and stumbled upon lots of lovely verse. Some of my favourite findings are presented below. If you were the author - good stuff!

North, east, west, south, Never cycle with an open mouth.

North, south, east, west, Never cycle with an open vest.

Keep to the left and ring your bell; If you see a bull, then ride like hell.

Don't lock your bike where it will flood, Or you'll find your saddle full of mud.

A spoke will carry a bicycle wheel, But it ain't no match for an old cow heel.

If you could get a pie to talk, It'd say `I'm a lot more pie than pork'.

Hear the empty pint pot sound, Means it's somebody else's round.

One Mars bar Won't get you far You'll get more cheer From a pint of beer.

When the sun is shining

 And I know it will not rain.

 I take my brand new bicycle.

 And pedal down the lane.

 I like to skim round corners.

 I like to ring my bell. I strain,

 And climb the steepest hills.

 The Freewheel down again.

 That is how I like to travel.

 It is better than the train.

 Or bus or car or motor-boat

 Or even aeroplane.

Dear x, I have a dreadful moan,

I want to cycle on my own;

You've dogged me for two thousand k

Please take the hint and GO AWAY!

 You tell me when I should not pee

Surely that is up to me?

Pretty cool eh?!