Dirty Reiver, New Tyres and No Punctures

Can you believe I still haven’t managed to get out and properly test my new hammock? And can you believe I haven’t wild camped at all this year? I’m really looking forward to my next wild camp, whenever that may be, and I’m desperate to try out my new Warbonnet hammock setup that I bought last year. It’s been sitting there looking very ready for action while I’ve been far too busy not using it.

On a brighter note, there has been plenty of bike-related progress.

'Pinkerton'

First up, the Phantom very kindly converted my Ridley into a gravel bike with tubeless tyres. At the moment it’s running Continental Terra Speeds — a 35mm rear and a 40mm front — with room to go up by another 5mm on each wheel if I decide to replace them again. If I do, I’d probably go for Panaracer Gravel Kings in one of the more adventurous colour options, because if you’re going to suffer on gravel, you might as well look good doing it. The tubeless valves are also pretty impressive in bright pink, which adds at least 7 watts and a healthy dose of style!

Do like a bit of colour

I’ve also made a few changes to my Dolan fixed-gear bike. I swapped the 25mm Gator Skins for 28mm tyres and took it out for a spin. Unfortunately, not long after, I noticed the rear tyre had developed quite a tear, so it was back to the drawing board. This time I fitted a lovely blue Vittoria tyre in a 25mm option. It may not be any more comfortable, but it does look considerably better, and sometimes that’s what really counts. I also changed the brake blocks, moving away from the one-piece cartridge style to the sort where you can insert replacement pads into the block. A small upgrade, but a satisfying one.

Stratford Greenway

Back on the Ridley — AKA 11— I took the new tyres out for a proper test ride. They were superb on the off-road and gravel sections I chose, including the Stratford Greenway and the woodland tracks through the Woods of Doom and Coughton Ford. It was the sort of ride that makes you nod approvingly at your own bike and think, “Yes, this is definitely a very sensible hobby.” I could hardly wait to take it to the Dirty Reiver.

And then, after a good deal of waiting and training, the weekend finally arrived: the Dirty Reiver 130km gravel event. This was the middle-distance route in the UK’s biggest one-day gravel event, held near Kielder Castle on the Northumberland/Scottish Borders edge. The route is known for being hard-packed, mostly off-road, and a proper challenge rather than a race in the usual sense. Remote, scenic, demanding, and brilliant — basically all the things gravel riders pretend they want while secretly questioning their life choices.

Jonny Mitchum

Chris and I travelled up on Friday night and met Jamie, with the three of us sharing a mobile home for a couple of nights. Sadly, the Phantom couldn’t join us because of a touchy hip or something similarly inconvenient. The next morning, we were up early and heading to the start, where we met our mate Johnny Mitchum, who was planning to race round in about four and a half hours! The rest of us were aiming for a slightly more civilised pace and planning to treat it as a proper day out.

It was freezing at the start, but the day warmed up beautifully and turned into a glorious sunny one. The arm warmers came off early doors and, once we were moving, the cold was never really an issue. As with all important adventures, the day began with a bacon and egg sarnie and a cup of tea, which felt like a thoroughly professional approach to endurance sport.

Dusty, but Chris had taken precautions

The route started on gravel almost immediately, and the surface at the beginning was certainly rougher and lumpier than later on, though less dense in places. All in all, I reckon the event was about 95% gravel or off-road riding, with a shedload of rolling terrain and a fair few big climbs — probably around 14 significant ones, if memory serves. In other words, a lovely little stroll in the countryside, if your countryside happens to be trying to break your legs.

The first stop was at a big lake, where Red Bull was handed out before we cracked on again. It tasted a bit diluted, but it did the job. From there we continued along some cracking gravel paths to the first food control.

This first feed stop was, to be honest, a little disappointing on the proper food front. There wasn’t much in the way of actual lunch, but there were plenty of electrolyte chew things — and I may have slightly overdone those. I think the official advice was one an hour, but I took down a whole load in one go, and they were the caffeinated ones too, which probably explains a few things. There were also fig rolls, Jaffa Cakes, and all that sort of nonsense, which I naturally made a decent effort to sample. I also stuffed my pockets with shammy butter samples, because nothing says “living the dream” quite like hoarding chamois cream at a gravel event.

After a short stop and stretch, we set off again. For the most part I ended up riding solo, as Chris and Jamie were a bit behind me. I figured I’d crack on and regroup at the next feed station. At that point I think the electrolyte blocks must have kicked in, because I got the absolute zoomies and seemed to get faster and faster. I was chatting to various riders along the way and still reached the next control surprisingly quickly — around the 105km mark.

That second control was excellent and offered real food, which was very welcome. I had tomato soup with three rolls, banana, Jaffa Cakes, and fig rolls, plus more electrolyte blocks and more bum butter samples, because you can never have too many tiny tubes of hope. This time I also enjoyed a proper cup of tea, which felt almost luxurious. I waited there for about half an hour, and at one point thought I saw Chris and Jamie ride straight past without stopping. I phoned Jamie, who assured me that he and Chris were fine and were heading towards the control. About 20 minutes later he rang me back and confirmed that I had been right — they had both missed it and ridden straight through.

Chris H

At that point I learned that Chris had been having some pain issues and had suffered what can only be described as digestive explosions. Jamie was about 5km away, so I agreed to grab him some water and meet him once I had got to him. That’s the sort of teamwork you hope for on a big gravel day: one rider suffering, one rider lost, and one rider sitting calmly with soup and tea wondering where everybody has gone.

Jamie and I then rode back to the start together, taking in more gravel as well as some lovely, wooded tracks. The views were brilliant, and the water sections were particularly pretty. We also had a few nice chats with other riders during that final stretch, which always helps when the legs are beginning to file a formal complaint. It was a treat to roll through the finishing tunnel and see Chris filming us on his phone — although it would have been even better if he’d remembered to press record.

All in all, it was a fantastic adventure. We got a brilliant day out, a very handsome finisher’s roundel, and a free food voucher as a reward for our efforts. Best of all, all the bikes behaved themselves: no mechanicals, no punctures, and not a single visit from the puncture pixie. Aces!